Undead Veggie
by Redd Dawn
Summary: It's a rutine misson. Alucard and Ceras definetly have the experence. But nothing could prepare them for what they find. Crossover, HellsingXMystery to be reveled later. Rated T for language.
1. It begins

Dear Fellow Hellsing fans,

I wonder if I'm the first to ever think of this… Well, I think this is going to be one of the shortest things I've ever written. It's also my first Hellsing Fanfic. This is also another first of a book for me, but I won't tell you which one, 'cuz that would give away everything. Well, I hope you enjoy.

**One Helluva Surprise**

**By**

**Redd Dawn**

It was supposed to be a routine mission: Dispose of any ghouls who got in the way, and seek and destroy the host vampire. But things just went so very very wrong.

Alucard's and Ceras' first clue that something was amiss was that there didn't seem to be any ghouls at all. Well, that's not entirely true; Alucard was a bit suspicious when he discovered that the apparently infested building was a produce shipping plant. That was a bit strange. But it wasn't as if strange things had never happened to the vampire, so he just went to do his job: finding the host vampire.

The best (and only real place) to hide was on the second floor in the offices. So that's where Alucard headed. It was on his way that he noticed the odd lack of ghouls.

……..

"What the hell's going on?" Ceras whispered to her self as she went about the first floor, looking for any ghouls. There weren't any. That was… really… strange… But then she heard a rustling sound coming from a door that was on the other side of the room she was in. She made for it.

………

Alucard had decided to take his time with this one. He had a strange feeling that was akin to foreboding, and perhaps a bit of De Ja Vu. So he walked at a steady pace up the stairs. He was fairly certain that he knew where the host vampire was hiding. Feeling of foreboding aside, he smiled as he made it to the second floor.

………….

Ceras made it quickly to the door. She took a deep breath, took a tighter grip on that cannon of hers, and kicked the door open, ready for anything- Except nothing at all, witch was exactly what she got.

………….

Alucard strode down the narrow hallway leading to the main office. That was where he would find the host vampire, he knew it.

……..

But wait. There was still that rustling noise. Where was that coming from? She went into the room cautiously. It was coming from behind those boxes over there. She went over to them on cats paws. She kicked them aside, pointed her Cannon down and saw-

……….

Alucard grinned wide and kicked the door open. "Your time has come," he said, grinning all the while. He aimed his Jackal and saw-

……….

"Wha… Vegetables?" Ceras blinked. She was indeed aiming her Cannon at vegetables. There was a rather large pile sitting on what appeared to be butcher paper. But they weren't normal. They were far from normal. They were all white, and twitching slightly, creating that rustling sound. Ceras moved forward slowly and picked up one of them. It twitched slightly in her hand and she grimaced.

………..

A rabbit. A young rabbit actually. A… bunny…. It was white with black markings that hinted at a cape. Alucard just stood there. It had been years, centuries, since he had been so surprised. The bunny just looked at him. It's nose wiggled and an ear twitched. Around it on the desk it perched on was what appeared to vegetables that had been drained of all pigment. Alucard's superior vision could allow him to see a set of bite marks on all the vegetables. He slowly lowered his gun. The…. bunny… continued to contemplate him. Alucard continued to contemplate the bunny. His eyebrow twitched faintly.

………

As Ceras left the storage room, mutated veggie in hand, she spotted her Master exiting the stairwell that had led to the second floor. He seemed to be put off some how. But at the moment, that wasn't the issue. The issue was the slightly twitching white thing in her hand. "Master! I didn't find any ghouls, just a bunch of weird veg-"

"We're leaving," Alucard said flatly. His eyes set on her, and then on the thing she was holding. Ceras could have sworn she saw his eyebrow twitch. "And… Bring that thing with you…" He stalked away. As he did so, Ceras noticed he was carrying something. For a moment, she thought she saw an ear… A long furry white ear. Was Master Alucard…. carrying a- No, nope, that was impossible, she must have just been seeing things.

Ceras shook herself. "Y-yes master!" she stammered and fallowed her master out of the plant.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Ya know what? I changed my mind, I'm gunna make this longer!


	2. It continues

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters herein. They are the property of their individual creators. Thank you.

**Guess What?**

Sir Integra Hellsing sat at her desk, waiting for her servants to come and give their reports. She pushed aside the plate of cold vegetables that was the remains of her dinner. Alucard slipped through the door and strode over to his master. He was followed by Ceras, who actually opened the door before entering. "Well. Is the host disposed of?" Integra asked merely as a formality. She never expected an answer in the negative. Alucard was extremely efficient at his job after all.

"Not exactly."

Integra looked up her servant. "What?" she asked sharply. Then she noticed Alucard was holding, almost cradling something.

Slowly, Alucard extended his arm and placed something on the desk. Integra stared at it. Then she looked up at Alucard. He regarded her placidly. She looked at Ceras. She was staring at it to with wide eyes. It was pretty safe to say she didn't know very much more about what was going on than Integra did. Her eyes where drawn to the desk once more as the bunny gave a short hop. "What the Hell is going on here?!" she finally cried. She was not one for practical jokes.

Alucard grinned. "Show her, Police Girl…"

Integra's attention returned to Ceras, who walked forward uncertainly. She placed something else on the desk. Integra stared at this as well. It appeared to be a small, white… twitching tomato… It rolled towards her. She could just make out a pair of holes in the strange twitching thing. She looked at the bunny. The she looked at Alucard. "…. What exactly is it… that you're trying to suggest?" she said quietly.

"That this-" he gestured towards the bunny, who was currently sniffing at Integra's pens, "is the host vampire. And that-" he gestured towards the tomato, which was pulsing on Integra's desk calendar, "is one of his Ghouls…"

Integra stood, outraged. "And you expect me to… believe…." she trailed off as she watched the bunny hop over to where she had pushed her plate, sniff at the barely nibbled at carrot, and then do the unbelievable. It bared miniscule fangs and sank them deep into the flesh of the carrot. The bunny's three spectators watched in amazement, save for Alucard, who watched with his told-you-so smile, as the carrot was drained of it's color. When the carrot was finished, the bunny began to sniff around for more sustenance.

Integra sat down slowly. She laced her fingers together and rested her chin on the surface they created. "… Alright. This… Rabbit is a vampire… of some sort. It doesn't seem to pose any sort of threat to the human race so-"

"Master?"

Integra was interrupted by her servant in red. "What?" she said sharply. She didn't enjoy being interrupted.

"Isn't it improper of you to call this creature a rabbit?" he asked, his eyes sparkling.

"What the hell are you on about?" she replied, the level of her voice beginning to rise.

"Technically, this is a young rabbit. Isn't the correct term in this case… bunny?"

Integra lowered her hands to the surface of the desk. Her eye twitched. She sprang up, her annoyance at this entire situation finally reaching the breaking point. "I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CORRECT TERM IS, JUST GET IT OUT OF MY OFFICE, RIGHT NOW!" she thundered, pointing at the door.

Alucard just smiled and scooped up the bunny. He gave Integra the barest tip of his hat in salute and walked out through one of the walls.

Integra looked at Ceras, who was standing dumfounded, looking after her master. Integra's attention was brought to the desk as the vampirized tomato rolled even closer to her. She grimiced and yelled at Ceras, "AND GET RID OF THAT THING!!!"

Ceras jolted to attention. "Ah, yes, sir, Sir Integra!" She grabbed the undead veggie and hurried out of the room, using the door.

Integra collapsed back into her chair. She put her head in her hands and just sat like that for a moment. But soon her attention was drawn to a faint clinking sound off to one side. She slowly turned her head and looked at her dinner plate. The carrot the vampire… bunny had feed on was twitching slightly. Integra stared at it. Then she threw the whole thing, plate and all into her rubbage bin. Then she stood and walked out of her office. She really could use a shot of scotch right about now.

…….

Alucard cradled the bunny as he walked to the kitchen. He had quite the appetite for such a tiny creature. He had gorged himself at the plant, had had that little snack just now, and was still sniffing the air for food. Alucard smiled.

At first, he hadn't really felt one way or the other about the little creature. It's presence here in London disturbed him… at first. But then on the way

home the little fur ball had fallen asleep. When Alucard saw this, he felt a strangely warm feeling in the depths of his soul.

And now… well, he felt strangely found of this little bunny rabbit. When he got to the kitchen, it was empty. He gently place the bunny on a counter and went to the refrigerator. He got out an armful of vegetables. Then he went to the other refrigerator and got out a few blood packets. He set the vegetables on the counter near the rabbit and pulled up a chair next to the little fellow.

"Go on little one," he said warmly, sitting down. "Drink your fill." The bunny hopped over to the veggies, sniffed at a tomato, and began to do just that. Alucard grinned, bit into a blood packet, and began to do the same.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Well, that was crazy! I may or may not do another chapter. It depends on if I get the inspiration or not.


End file.
